Every Story Counts
Tell yours.
I was sitting in the office of a spiritual mentor with him and two other men. He told us that everyone has a unique and different story, and every story counts. “When we tell ours in total confidence, and it’s received with a positive spirit,” he said, “something happens in our brains that creates new healing pathways.” He’d told his story first the week before, and now it was my turn.
Honestly, I was kind of dreading it all day, putting my life on display, letting someone else in on all the muck and mire…and, yeah, the joys and blessings too. Life has dealt me and Karen some blows, but like the song about Johnny Appleseed goes, “…the Lord’s been good to me.”
Well, I told my life story, and on the drive home, three things struck me.
One, I was exhausted. It takes a lot out of a guy, you know.
Two, generally speaking, Karen and her friends—all you women out there—have got this brain-cleansing secret down. You tell stories way more readily than men. Equally as important, you listen well and lift the storyteller up with positive and empathetic feedback.
And three, I was better for the exercise. I learned that my story counts, and it felt good for my mental and spiritual health to tell it. The men in that room were connected. They listened well.
The idea of storytelling being good for one’s health intrigued me, so I got on my computer, cracked my knuckles, and fired up Safari. Turns out that research from the field of narrative psychology shows a link between stories—told or written—and well-being. The story can be detailed like mine, or as simple as telling someone about that crazy thing that happened at the supermarket.
Storytelling features the characters, actions, and events in our lives. And our feelings. When I write a novel, I’m telling my story through a fictional character’s perspective, and I receive that same injection of well-being…but on steroids.
Likewise, when we watch a movie or read a book, a storyteller transports us to a different time and place where our imaginations can run wild. In fact, turns out that sharing our life-story can help us tackle our challenges and adversities. This is the stuff of real transformation, where we move past our unhealthy beliefs and experiences to happier, alternative stories.
I don’t pretend to understand how this works, but I’m beginning to believe it.
Seems that telling stories helps us to get better at listening.
It releases something called oxytocin, which increases empathy, a building block to deeper relationships.
It improves memory. A marketing professor at Stanford Graduate School of Business claims that information woven into stories helps people remember “up to 22 times more than facts alone.” It also helps seniors with memory issues.
It can control our mood and self-image, helping us to cope with life’s challenges better.
And it can remind us of how we achieved our goals. And that increases self-esteem and motivates us to aim for success again.
I don’t know. Maybe like our world, communities, and families could use a healthy dose of storytelling. Right?
It all starts at home. You have a story, and every story counts.
*https://www.verywellmind.com/how-storytelling-is-good-for-your-mental-health-5199744